Lost In Imagination

i'm feeling mighty restless these few days, a feeling which i do not understand very well. mostly because i usually feel restless for a couple of hours and then it dies down but ever since last week, i've been jumpy, my fingers cant seem to stop tapping or twisting my ring (i have this habit when i'm feeling nervous or uncomfortable or restless, i'm play around with my ring), etc. what i dont understand is i've done my work, i'm done with my exams, i'm pretty much done and yet i feel like i have some unfinished business that needs attending to. is it my love life finally calling out to me?

i've been a good boy recently, people come to me with all their problems and secrets and i never tell a single soul. i havent been trying to date anyone and have been rejecting one or two. i try to tell myself i need this time to really know who i am and that i want to be single. but i know truthfully that i'm not truly over a certain person yet. i've been thinking about him recently, maybe that's what's making me restless. dreams of his house, us going to australia and visiting my sister, his room, etc. i know they're all dreams and sometimes dreams mean nothing. i think it all started when i found his t-shirt in my closet. i wanted to dump it into the garbage can but instead i sat there on the floor and took a big whiff of that shirt. it certainly smelt like him, and my head was dizzy from all the nostalgic memories. i dumped it behind all my clothes and closed my closet door, hoping that i would forget about it.

how long does one take to get over another person? a week? a month? a year? a couple of years? never? i dont want to be one of those people who can never be able to move on in life because of a certain person. it's hard enough as it is dating other people and trying to get dates.

so this weekend i'm treating myself to a vacation in singapore, this one will be different as i'm using the money i earned from work to travel there and do stuff. i need a big old drink and to feel that feeling of weightlessness and floating in the air. i need to let myself go, as i said earlier, i've been a good boy....it's time to be a little bit bad.