Odd Talk

i had the most intriguing and funniest conversation with my mother which left me laughing on the way back up to my room. it started with me coming back home and walking to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. i saw her sitting down and having a little midnight snack.

"hi mummy," i said.

"so late, what were u doing?" she replied without looking at me.

so i said, "i was out the whole day with my friends." then she mumbled something i couldnt hear, so i ignored her.

then she popped the question. she asked me, "why is there a durex pleasure enhancing lubricant bottle in ur room?"

i was shocked. she went through my room? well it's partially my fault cause i dont hide any of these stuff. so i took a sip from my bottle and said, "mummy, is it really hard to imagine me having a sex life?"

then she said, "i dont approve of what u're doing. so what? people put their pee pees in ur asshole?"

so i gave her an odd stare and she continued by saying, "u know KH, that if u continue on like this, when u're older u wouldnt be able to control ur anus anymore. it will be so loose that u cannot control ur bowel movements."

she apparently thinks i get fucked...ALOT. which is pretty much true cause i got screwed by my exes alot (non-literally). how rude, i'm versatile for heaven's sake, i fuck people too u know. anyways i stared at her; shocked with her ignorance.

so i rolled my eyes and then left saying, "i really dont wanna talk to u if u're gonna be so ignorant."

then she replied, "u better not play play."