got high last nite! ^_^ woke up so early this morning. does anyone feel like me, coz whenever i get high or drunk the nite before i wake up reaaaaalllyyyy early in the morning.
my sister and her bf are fighting outside my room now. it's saddening coz i introduced them together. saw my sister crying but i dont know what to do. i know i should protect her but my gut feeling is to stay out of it, becoz it's their business, not mine. it hurts me to see my sister crying...
i just realized something, i've encountered so many people that i dont even remember most of their names anymore, and by encounter, i mean meeting as in friend. i dont speak to most of them tho, as my wise sister told me one day as a joke (but i doubt it was), my friends dont last longer than 3 months. depressing as it sounds but it's a fact.
Truth factor 1: none of my friends last longer than 3 months.
Truth factor 2: none of my bfs last longer than 3 months too.
am i really that fickle?
i'm reflecting my life and it's values and honestly, i wish to make a difference in the world. what really scares me is that, when i die, i'm not remembered. yeah it's a bit too young for me to be talking about death but life is short, and it's not too short to ponder about things like these. i just get terrified that i'm not ever remembered. it makes me feel glad as well as special that people would remember me, such as send me an e-mail saying "hey i miss the times we spent with each other" etc etc. at least when i'm in my grave, people would remember the memories we have with each other. i guess that's what will really make me happy. ^_^
plus, i wish to make a difference in the world. not some stupid thing like world peace, that's never gonna happen. with society like this i think we're heading towards a dystopia. i guess what i really want is to change the whole gay stereotype. that most of them are good looking, have good bods that can be achieved thru months of excercising at the gym etc. no one's looking for the average joe anymore. it's saddening for me to see beautiful souls being cast as an outsider and their personalities being oppressed by that factor. i honestly dont give a flying fuck what people think of me. think what u want world! this is me and u're not getting rid of me anytime soon! i'm letting no one get in my way, not now, not ever.
goodnite~
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