Looking Forward To Looking Back On These Days

It's been an awful week. Let me count the ways.

1) Assignment deadlines popping everywhere.
2) Exams coming up real soon. (Super Stress Power!)
3) Com-poo-ter got struck by lightning during a storm; replaced motherboard and power supply for a whooping RM550.
4) Assignment due the day after com-poo-ter got struck.
5) Stumbled across an ex's profile to see that he's dating a guy that I was interested in. (Sigh...)
6) Bumped into another ex in a supermarket (of all places!) to find that he's with the guy that he had a thing with while he was with me.
7) Got molested by some guy after I passed out from drinking too much. Okay, maybe this is a good thing so I shall put it in my Happy section.

If these things don't constitute to a breakdown, I don't know what would.

I'm suddenly overwhelmed with the feeling of insecurity. Everyone seems capable of moving on a having a sustainable relationship. So why can't I? I refuse to believe that Fate hasn't handed me the right guy yet or that it's written in stone that I will be a bachelor forever.

It's alright if it's one failed relationship or maybe two, but going through various ways of heartbreak, I've got to ask myself; is it me?!?!

I've been good. I've been faithful. I've tried the monogamous approach to relationships. Still I can't seem to find a reason to why I'm not able to sustain a long term relationship. And the question still rings on in my head, the question I dread being asked; why are you still single? Like hell I know! And there's always the generic answer from them - "Oh maybe you're just too picky".

Excuse me, while I recap my life. I've dated the undesirables. Trust me, they're equally as bad.

Mayhap answers will come to me when I least expect it.

So I'll wait.

And I'll wait.

And I'll wait.

But only till the next guy who comes along.