The Tradition Lives On

Once every year marks the occasion that is a constant reminder one is getting older. Tomorrow is that day for me and the saga of bad birthdays continues.

Last year I spent my faux birthday with a couple of friends and got drunk. On the real day my mother got me a cake. She was watching her Wa Lai Toi on Astro after dinner and I had to wait for a commercial before I went downstairs, lit the candles and call her to come down to cut the cake with me. After I blew out the candles, she went back to her Hong Kong series whilst I took out the candles and dumped it in the garbage and put the half cut cake back in. We didn't even eat it. I received a birthday message the next day.

The circle of life does go on and I continue to force myself to be happy. Today it was cut short when I was speaking to my father about application of jobs here. He didn't have time and wanted to speak to me tomorrow. I asked him if he knew what day it was tomorrow.

He replied, "....Thursday."

I don't think he remembers my birthday every year and has to be reminded by my mother or my sister whereas the day of my sister's birth is imprinted in his skull.

So I sit here.

I write.

I listen to Billie Holiday.

The only person I know of in more pain than I am in now.