L'ennui

i hate how gay life is potrayed as clubbing, sex, drugs and having a promiscuous lifestyle. it sickens as well as saddens me that many gay men are in fact into that kinda lifestyle. week after week of ecstasy, cocaine, special k, ice, whatever u call it man, it's awful! if it's like this u might as well inject me with a handfull of horse tranquillizers and call it a week. i mean what i'm trying to say here is that what happened to those who search for love and are domesticated and are anti-drugs? are those called lesbians now?

it's just sad to see people get swept away by drugs and see them head into the toilet sniffing shit and popping pills into their mouths. then they come out with their eyes dilated and minds just completely scrambled like my eggs in the morning.

anyhoo today was totally unproductive. i sat for an hour and a half just trying to finish my assignment and i get so distracted by smses and msgs online that i still havent finished it. not only that i was supposed to pick up my stuff that was left in my ex's place and i totally forgot about it until just now. i guess i have to leave it to tomorow or the day after to get it then. i'm starting to hate leaving things and doing things later. i'm starting to be quite anal now, with doing my assignments days before it's due...OH NO! i'm becoming....a nerd! i should get nerd frames to go with my new look.

so yeah my body's aching...i feel like someone sat on certain parts of my body for a day or two and just got off. oh rite and i signed up for celebrity fitness already so i guess i have to go tomorow afternoon...preferably after classes. i have to psyche myself up in order to get captain fabulouso's body that i want oh-so-badly. geez i'm turning into one of those gym freaks...i really hope i dont start talking about it even with my friends about cardio, protein shakes, trainers, etc etc. it's scary enough that i know some of these stuff already. yeah i'll update later on tonite...after i finish my assignment. laterz~