Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Three
On a Wednesday morning...
I sit here and ponder about life and my failures.
At the age of 24, I should be happy. But instead I wrap myself with misery and despair.
I've been hurt so many times, I should feel numb. But with each heartbreak that comes along with break ups, I writhe on the floor in pain as hot coals run down my cheeks.
After knowing that I've graduated, I should find a job. But with each passing second, I feel lost and I do not see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I spoke about it briefly to my friends. But I cannot seem to pour my thoughts and emotions because I feel they should not burden themselves with my problems.
What am I to do? I seek for answers that no one are able to fathom.
So I do what I do best.
Avoid the problems.
Erase the memories.
And paste on a smile.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Tales of Rituals and the Supernatural
Cambodians also believe that the Srei Ap is afraid of thorns and small sharp objects. As such, thorns are placed underneath the pregnant women's bed to ward off the Srei Ap during childbirth. After the birth of the child, placentas are then hidden deep beneath the earth away from the ever hungry bodiless spirit. If the placenta is found and consumed by the Srei Ap, it is said that the spirit of the child as well as the mother would be consumed and they would both die.
In fear of the Srei Ap, the Cambodian culture of burying placentas are still practiced today. In fact there are resemblances to our Malaysian legend of Penanggalan, "head with dancing intestines". Small altars, offerings made from bamboo and stone statues of the Buddha are set up outside and inside houses to ward off evil spirits and this occurrence is similar to the traditions in Malaysia, despite its modernity.
There is the annual ritual of Pchum Ben during September where the living set out offerings to appease the dead. It is known that this festival lasts for 15 days and during this period, the gates of hell are opened and spirits roam the earth to satisfy their hunger. Food is offered by the people and presented to the monks living in temples. This is where the ritual of incense, meditation and chants begins to placate the restless souls of dead ancestors and relatives. The people are also required to pay homage in at least seven temples and on the 15th day, the locals light a candle and follow chanting monks around the sanctuary for those who died alone and have no one to set out offerings for them.
This tradition lives on today but is not practiced by many from the younger generation. Instead of attending the ritual, they provide money and food to their living relatives in turn to represent their filial duty. This annual festival bears a resemblance to our local Hungry Ghost festival in which spirits are released from the gates of hell and wander the land in search for offerings which mainly consist of food.
People think that Cambodia is more haunted than ever, especially the locals. According to Watanap, a female waitress at the local bar, an astonishing eight out of ten locals believe in spirits and ghostly apparitions, most of them being females. Although most of Cambodia's citizens are Buddhists, these tales of horror stem from a pre-Buddhist shamanistic tradition of rituals and prayers to spirits for protection.
Due to Cambodia's sad and melancholic history during the time of the Khmer Rouge rule where many died and were not given proper burials, locals have been plagued with guilt for the dead who were not laid to rest.
A war veteran and survivor, Moun Sinath, tells the tales of strange disturbances in the War Museum – where a land formerly loaded with land mines has now transformed into a tourist attraction of rusted alienesque tanks and machines used for war. Sinath is also a firm believer in spirits and reports odd occurrences during the night – the tinkering sound of repairs to machinery, voices in Khmer requesting for nourishment and assistance can be heard during the still of the night. Sinath believes this to be his fellow comrades who died at war during the Khmer Rouge rule. What used to be a nightly visit from the dead has now become less frequent and is only reported during night when the moon is full and glowing.
We are surrounded daily by stories and folklore of spirits of the dead haunting the living with their presence. Walking daily in Siem Reap, I pass by altars in stores and buildings that have been set up to protect the people from evil spirits. On a personal note, I believe in the afterlife and that everyone has a ghostly story to tell. After listening to these stories told by the locals, the dark streets of Siem Reap seem to have changed from mundane to mysterious.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Disaster
If I lose any of my photos I took during Angkor Wat and my many other photos, I will cry.
Saturday, July 5, 2008
The 7th Wonder of The World - Icy Cold Ankor Beer
The first changing of leaves. A winter breeze on a day in Spring. Snow falling and softly landing on the willow tree.
Things you would not find in
However, you would be able to find sweat-soaked tourists running around the streets of Siem Reap.
It’s day 2 of our study trip in
I walked from Popular Guest House and immediately was struck with the extreme heat that made Cambodia Cambodia. The heat gave very little life to the students of Monash. Even as I sit here and write, I could feel my body producing tears of hate. If my body could speak, it would say “WHY ARE YOU TORTURING ME?”. It would also say “Feed me!”.
Food here is friggin’ cheap. For 1USD I could get a plate of yummy noodles or a French bread filled with what seems to be pork and vegetables. Or you could get a small bag of fried crickets and pour it down your throat like our very brave Maxine.
We were gathered at Wat Damnak (Wat in Khmer for Monastery and Damnak meaning
Today’s session really did speak to me. Depika Suerchan’s presentation on housing rights for citizens and evictions was well put together and as she was showing us pictures and documentaries on how the authorities react in forced evictions, I remembered seeing children following us on the way to Wat Damnak and wondered if their families were evicted from their homes only to find no place to live. The vivid images of families with small children having their homes torn down only to have a skyscraper built in place of their sanctuary really pisses me off. The feeling of helplessness and not being able to do anything about it makes me frustrated even more.
This is why you should vote for me for World President. There would be no war. There would be no anger. There would only be Communism…
And good cheap beer.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
2 Days Later...
One minute.
For every puff.
I think I lost about a couple of years.
So I decided to quit smoking. Not because it's bad for the health, it's because it's just getting too damn expensive. I've calculated, I buy cigarettes for RM8.20 which would last me two to three days during the week and a day during the weekend. That's a whooping 150+ bucks that I spend solely on cigarettes for a month!
I remember back in the days when I started smoking, cigarettes used to be cheap and cost like...5 bucks. Now smoking has become part of the luxurious lifestyle and I for one will not buy into this culture. I shall quit when I'm ahead. And it's good to have friends beside you who want to quit as well. Just so there's a check every now and then. Good support system.
So how am I doing it? Cold turkey. I smoked my last cigarette on the 30th of June at exactly 11.35PM. It's been over 24 hours and I think I'm doing well. I'm replacing an addiction with another addiction - eating ChaCheer Kua Chi (Sunflower seeds) and now I have a sore throat.
Gosh darn it, I'm in desperate need of a cigarette.