Dream A Little Dream

Have you ever had bad dreams about someone and then wake up and get angry at them for no legitimate reason? Has your dreams affected your mood in any way after waking up? If it has, you're probably a hypo-maniac like me.

Waking up this morning/afternoon, I felt so depressed. I had a dream about M and our bedroom antics. He asked me what lube I wanted to use and brought out three small vials with three different "flavours". I told him that I wasn't in the mood and he threw a hissy fit and then left. Why did I say no? Because somehow I felt like he was fucking around, that's how he got the lube in the first place.

Think that I'm crazy or think that I have lost a few marbles. I know I need to get over this. I just don't know how to. It's been 3 years of back and forth and it's takes on a serious emotion toll on me. I honestly want it to stop. I am willing it to stop. But even on an unconscious level I'm still yearning for him in some way. When does it end?

Gay Mafia

i had the most intense dream about being chased by the gay mafia. this time it was my friends who were part of it cause they had no choice.

anyways the dream started abruptly, i was being followed by this mysterious stranger in a mall and suddenly i hop into my car and locked it. the stranger (who turned out to be Sam in a trenchcoat) got into a car infront of me with Michael at the back of the car and someone sitting in the passenger seat. i looked into my rearview mirror and i saw this car coming fast and straight at me, which was funny cause i was side parked. anyways the car rammed at me in full force and i hit the car with sam and michael in it. so i knew something was wrong and i started the engine and sped off. it was a high speed car chase, the ones u see in the movies where u swerve and dodge cars like crazy. so finally i ran out of petrol and i lost the insane car guy, i saw a 5 star hotel (i think it was the hilton, but it was definitely classier) and ran into it.

with my credit card i got myself a room. i went up the elevator and changed into a different outfit got back into the elevator to head back down to the lobby. then the elevator stopped, and since it was clear glass i could see the people outside wondering what was happening. then i saw them being ushered by a whole bunch of police. i pulled out my magazine and pretended to read, while this officer broke open the door and asked to see I.D.s. i gave my I.D. and then hid my face behind the magazine. he then grabbed me and forced me out the elevator and onto this high top table where i waited to see the gay mafia ring leader.

the ring leader was no other than Biau Jie, this friend of mine. and she was with her "kids" and a nanny and she sat across from me. i asked her why she was trying to kill me and she said that i knew too much and was going around telling people about it. i didnt understand...what was IT? then Sam appeared along with my other friends and i told BJ that it was me, i never said anything ya hear?!!? then she said, "well someone did...and if it's not u...then it's U!"

she pointed at sam and immediately his head exploded. BJ really does have magical powers. so she apologised for the rough time that she has been giving me and left. then i woke up cause my phone started ringing. damn gay men with their incessant need to call me....

Strange Dreams

whenever i sleep, i wake up every 1 or 2 hours just to grab something to drink or to move around the bed, so therefore i consider myself a troubled sleeper. it's not that bad coz i dont exactly annoy anyone sleeping next to me but it isn't great for me.

so i had two dreams, funnily enough they were separate coz i woke up after the first nightmare and then went back to sleep to get my second dream.

i'll try and write my dreams down in detail, i cant remember some parts but i'll try to write down as much as i could.

i was sitting at a table with a couple of friends, their faces blurred so i couldnt see them properly but from my gut feeling i knew they were my closest friends. yes we were sitting there talking about random stuff when i needed to go back to our hotel room to change. we took one of the lifts up to the room and i changed first and was waiting for them to finish getting dressed when i got fed up and told them i'll meet them back at the restaurant. i was walking down the eerie corridor and i felt as if someone or something was there along with me. chills ran up my spine and i walked even faster to get to the lift. pressing the button and getting into an empty lift, i felt even more tense since i was trapped in a confined area. the lift door closed and i backed myself up to the left side of the lift so i could get a clearer view of everything. i turned to my left to look at the back of the lift only to catch my reflection staring back at me. then i turned to my right to the reflective part of the door and i could see very clearly, a long haired woman in a black dress standing next to me. my heart sank and i felt my body go limp.

the lights started flickering. i blinked again to only see her move slowly, like one of those black and white movies she moved towards me with every flicker of the light. and then when she was about to touch me the lift door opened and i picked myself up from the ground and stumbled out of the lift only to see that i was not come out to the lobby area but i came out to the rooftop. i looked over my shoulder to see her materialize and follow me and laugh wickedly. she grabbed me with her pale and vieny arm and claimed me as hers. i was her victim and i had no where else to go. i begged for her to let me go but she wouldnt. i asked her for one last wish, to see my friends and say goodbye to them for one last time. she pondered for a bit before yanking me. instead of my body following her, it was my soul which she grabbed on to and my body crumpled up and fell to the floor like a marionette. i cried for her to release me but she wouldnt, she just carried on pulling my arm and into the darkness we went...

since this dream was longer than i expected i shall not venture on to the second one, but it's alot less scary than this one for sure. i woke up anticipating that i would see the woman in front of me! that was scary...

Dirty Dancing & Dreaming

i watched Shinobi last nite on dvd, omg it was awesome! scenes were alittle short but u get the feeling of long-windedness along with many many japanese movies but Shinobi was pretty cool. maybe coz it reminded me of the first anime i watched which was called Ninja Scrolls, there was this girl who was fed poison all her life so she wasnt given the choice to have sex with guys or to kiss someone that she loves, without them dying of course. and then there was the feminine looking guy, with this long black hair that never seems to fall out of place and he uses some sort of black threads or hair or something to whip at people, hahah to think about it now, talking or writing about it sounds pretty hilarious but when it boils down to watching it, i guess if u're into flying people who can fight and at the same time fly to the next country and need horses to travel short distances, then this is the movie for u.

all in all i give it a 8/10
coz the movie didnt highlight what was the most important part, which was the Eyes of Destruction, they only showed it once which was pretty pathetic. people died really fast and there wasnt much of a character that me being the viewer could define with. but scenes were beautifully shot and costumes were pretty cool.

oh rite, before i close off i just wanted to record down my dream i had just now. it was kinda weird coz i think we were in bangkok or thailand or somewhere. i'm quite sure it was somewhere in thailand. anyways it was me at first, i couldnt find a table so i sat with a couple of strangers, non-locals as well and they were partying and having fun, oh btw the scene looked like it was in a bar with karaoke in it. so it was dark and i was waiting there apparently for someone, and first Liyana came, i dont know why i dreamt of her, i havent seen her in yonks and i havent spoken to her in ages. yeah she came and was looking for me and i called her name and she saw me and sat down rite next to me. so we were busy chatting and i havent ordered my drink yet and out pops Audrey, and she sits down and starts yapping her head off as usual.

so i'm sitting there, feeling thirsty and looking for a waiter so i asked them both did they get their drinks at the bar or with a waiter? they said at the bar, and there was this guy sitting next to me who said yeah what would u like? i'll go get it for u. so i said no it's alright i'll go get it myself and i looked again to my left to see whether there were any waiters going around and strangely enough there was one short taking people's orders. so i waved at him and he came and the guy sitting next to me stood up and spoke to the waiter and gave him like...i think 20 dollars or some thing. so the waiter came to me and asked what would i like to drink. i told him and i took the money from the waiter and gave it back to the guy and said something like no u shouldnt buy me drinks, i'm sorry but next time alright? he insisted and went over to the bar itself and instead of the waiter bringing me my drink, he bought me a bottle which surprisingly enough...not what i would like to drink...was tequila. so after that i woke up and i felt strange. was i living in someone else's shoes? coz i remember the money that i took out from "my" wallet looked like someone elses...

funny i just cant point my finger at it..