If I Could

Some people say this with force.
Some people say this with humour.
But I say this with sincerity.

A few months ago, a couple of friends and I sat down and enjoyed our mixed cocktails of beer and whiskey when a question suddenly popped up which stunned everyone into a couple of minutes of silence.

The question was, "What do you think your purpose in life is?"

As we went around the table, answering perhaps the most illogical and unexplainable question, I sat there quietly and wondered how was I going to put my feelings into words. I heard answers which amused and interested me, such as "being put into this life to make people laugh" or "I believe I was born in this life to go through karma which I had collected over the lifetimes".

When my turn came, I could not put my feelings into actual sentences. But I tried.

I felt like my purpose in this life is to make a change for the better. With the utmost sincerity, I hope I could make a large difference in people's lives.

As cheesy as it sounds, I feel like this is my purpose. I was given a life that some people would kill to have. Maybe it is middle-class guilt, the fact that I was lucky to be born into this life but I am also given the chance to grow up and help people in whichever unselfish way I can.

Whenever I register an asylum seeker at my workplace, I feel better.

Whenever I meet someone who cannot afford to pay their rent, their food nor provide for their family and I refer them to someone who can provide them with financial assistance, I feel better.

Whenever I go against the system and vouch for asylum seekers to get registered, I feel better.

To think that in life, I am given the opportunity to do so. I believe that anyone could make a difference; even the smallest would contribute to a considerable amount.

Now if you could make a difference, what would you do?

Or perhaps I should ask, what do you think your purpose in life is?

Convention Contortion

I really envy the people who can get drunk very easily. Why? Simple. It's cheaper.



The past few days I've been employed by Hess to be one of their exhibition staff which was held at the KLCC Convention Centre. The pay was good and it was recommended by a good friend of mine who worked side by side with me throughout the three days. I had to basically lug things around, pack hundreds of goodie bags, speak to engineers about career opportunities and what Hess does and also give them chocolates. Not to mention being hit on by old men, not because I'm good-looking don't get me wrong (insert Zoolander Theme here), but because they wanted a cup of hot coffee.

Unwrapping literally hundreds of paper bags and shoving Hess newspapers and pamphlets inside practically gave me a dozen papercuts which I don't really notice until I get back home and start wondering why the heck do my fingers itch. I found a really tiny piece of paper stuck in
my finger actually.

Yes I spent the whole 3 days speaking to people, showing them my pearly whites despite me sweating through my red polo shirt. Conversations usually went like this:

"Hello! Would you like a Hess chocolate?"

"Mm." *Looks at the wrapping* "What is this?"

"Chocolate."

"Oh! Choklit ah? Wah so nice ah. Tenk-U."

OR

"So what does your company do?"

"Hess actually does exploration and the production of oil."

"Okay, do you currently have any projects?"

"Um, I'm not sure. I'm actually the exhibition staff *shows name-tag*
but if you want, I could have one of the people from Hess speak to you
regarding your inquiry."

"No it's okay. Thanks."

Okay most of my conversations went like that. The ones that were annoying went something like this:

"You're Carigali Hess right? Do you know so-and-so?"

"Sorry, this is NOT Carigali Hess. Hess is actually the parent company of Carigali Hess."

"Oh. But is so-and-so here?"

"....No."

Poor thing, these people don't know that Kathia and I bitch about the marketing people who drop names just to show off to their little friends that they know people.

The last day was interesting though. I got insulted by a passer-by who apparently thought I looked like I had a hard life and gave me a freebie toy from Schlumberger. Yes, my partner in crime and I raided the whole Hall 1 convention centre to get a Phua Chu Kang contractor
hat, a small football, a few pens and notebooks, sunglasses, caps and bags.

So the 3 days of working was gone, and I got paid quite a bit from it, only to spend it all in one go on Friday night with my friends at Liquid. It was good money down the drain, literally since I puked out my insides on the side of the road. Like all other alcohol induced nights, only bits and pieces of what actually happened would haunt me till the day I kick the bucket. I remember the dancing, the wild whorish dancing. Slutty as it may be with the rubbing and the popping of the hips, I still have fun despite shivering everytime I think about it.

That's me, Whora Flynn Boyle.

My First Day @ 65

last night was my first day of work at 65. it was so tiring but i managed to get everything in order and sales was very very very good considering it's a tuesday night! i must admit i'm a pretty good waiter when it comes to bars and stuff and with my good social skills convince them to drink more! hahaha i'm good like that. but i did meet some really snobby people, one of which thinks he's pretty classy but is cheap as hell, who the hell takes 2 cents from his change? anyways aside from that the night went pretty well, a solid effort from 6PM to 2AM.

so anyways, something weird happened last night. i sort of have this thing going on with this guy called Allen, dont get me wrong, he's just interested in me and has been flirting and giving me the signals and stuff and i havent exactly been reciprocating much to give him hints that i'm not really interested but i'd like to be his friend. it was his birthday party last night and alot of his friends showed up, only a few of which i knew. this guy called Gan showed up whom i think is super cute (i love his eyes) with his friend called Tyios and i said hello and served their party table of 20 throughout the evening.

funnily enough, despite meeting Tyios for 3 times, he hung out with me and started talking alot to me. i didnt exactly find this weird coz he's a friendly guy. so during my little breaks inbetween work, he came over and chatted with me, telling me he's interested in one of my friends called Jimmy and blah blah blah blah blah. so it's almost the end of the night and Tyios is drunk and so is Allen. Allen gave me alot of signals throughout the night as well.

anyways back to the end of the night, tyios asked me privately whether i could send him back home after work, i was so tired but being the nice and helpful me, i said yes. after work we all went for a drink at a nearby mamak and just basically started talking; there was a whole bunch of us including drunk Allen and alot of his other friends. his friends knew that allen was interested in me and sat me right next to him. it was getting late and it was time to get back home (3.30AM) and i told Dicholas that i'm sending Tyios back home. he told me to becareful coz he's sensing something in Tyios that tells him he's interested in me, i told him to fuck off coz it aint gonna happen.

i'm in the car driving and tyios was sitting on the passenger seat, and...yeah Dicholas was right. Tyios did try to hit on me, he asked about my relationship with allen, my exes, my crushes, my type, etc etc. not only that, he was on his full-on mode as he placed his hand on my thigh while talking to me. i didnt say a thing at first but when he slid his hand up to my crotch area i told him to knock it off and i picked up and placed his hand back on his thigh. he was persistent cause after 10 minutes he did the exact same thing. i told him that i'm really shy and i dont think he should do these sort of things. so i reached his house and expected him to rush out feeling embarrassed, but he just sat there flirting with me. i gathered up the courage to say it's getting late and i should get back home and he caught the drift and left.

i really dont understand, how can friends do this to each other. he's been friends with Allen for about a year and he knows that Allen is interested in me but he does this behind his back. anyways, i prefer not to stick my head into these little troubles.

i should get an award for this. i havent had sex for almost 3 months and this cute 18 year old boy throws himself at me and i didnt take advantage of the situation. -_-; i really should be awarded...