Convention Contortion

I really envy the people who can get drunk very easily. Why? Simple. It's cheaper.



The past few days I've been employed by Hess to be one of their exhibition staff which was held at the KLCC Convention Centre. The pay was good and it was recommended by a good friend of mine who worked side by side with me throughout the three days. I had to basically lug things around, pack hundreds of goodie bags, speak to engineers about career opportunities and what Hess does and also give them chocolates. Not to mention being hit on by old men, not because I'm good-looking don't get me wrong (insert Zoolander Theme here), but because they wanted a cup of hot coffee.

Unwrapping literally hundreds of paper bags and shoving Hess newspapers and pamphlets inside practically gave me a dozen papercuts which I don't really notice until I get back home and start wondering why the heck do my fingers itch. I found a really tiny piece of paper stuck in
my finger actually.

Yes I spent the whole 3 days speaking to people, showing them my pearly whites despite me sweating through my red polo shirt. Conversations usually went like this:

"Hello! Would you like a Hess chocolate?"

"Mm." *Looks at the wrapping* "What is this?"

"Chocolate."

"Oh! Choklit ah? Wah so nice ah. Tenk-U."

OR

"So what does your company do?"

"Hess actually does exploration and the production of oil."

"Okay, do you currently have any projects?"

"Um, I'm not sure. I'm actually the exhibition staff *shows name-tag*
but if you want, I could have one of the people from Hess speak to you
regarding your inquiry."

"No it's okay. Thanks."

Okay most of my conversations went like that. The ones that were annoying went something like this:

"You're Carigali Hess right? Do you know so-and-so?"

"Sorry, this is NOT Carigali Hess. Hess is actually the parent company of Carigali Hess."

"Oh. But is so-and-so here?"

"....No."

Poor thing, these people don't know that Kathia and I bitch about the marketing people who drop names just to show off to their little friends that they know people.

The last day was interesting though. I got insulted by a passer-by who apparently thought I looked like I had a hard life and gave me a freebie toy from Schlumberger. Yes, my partner in crime and I raided the whole Hall 1 convention centre to get a Phua Chu Kang contractor
hat, a small football, a few pens and notebooks, sunglasses, caps and bags.

So the 3 days of working was gone, and I got paid quite a bit from it, only to spend it all in one go on Friday night with my friends at Liquid. It was good money down the drain, literally since I puked out my insides on the side of the road. Like all other alcohol induced nights, only bits and pieces of what actually happened would haunt me till the day I kick the bucket. I remember the dancing, the wild whorish dancing. Slutty as it may be with the rubbing and the popping of the hips, I still have fun despite shivering everytime I think about it.

That's me, Whora Flynn Boyle.