Face Forward & Never Look Back

today has been quite a shitty day, i'm not going to name the events that happened but let's just say it was quite a shitty end to a shitty day. but i'm thankful to have friends who i can rely on and talk to in my hour of need.

a wise friend told me that some things in life one should never take personally, to separate emotions from whatever one does. it's hard for me to learn this attribute as i am pretty sensitive to alot of things, especially remarks made by people. i guess it's in my nature to be sensitive.

maybe it's because of my childhood days? i'm not saying that i had a horrible childhood don't get me wrong and i am never ever going to blame my parents for whatever they have bestowed upon me. i had a sheltered life as a child, i never broke a bone in my body before, not much scars except for the one above my left eye and the burn mark on my right hand. i grew up in an American school and life was good there, no one made fun of each other and it was like a scene from the "Sound of Music". but that was part of my downfall as well, since i never encountered anyone that was harsh and mean, i couldnt make sense of it and therefore i get hurt.

it's like the same saying, if we didnt know sadness we wouldnt know what happiness is. i am trying to be distant, trying to cover up my feelings until i get home. sometimes i get very nasty comments at work and i hold it in till i get back home and then i cry. i think that has been an improvement for me and as my wise friend said, upgrading oneself is important.

i came across something which was quite similar to this which was related to masks.

some artists believed that the face displays too much expressions, even though u can smile there'll be a hint of sadness if u're feeling sad. so they believe wearing a mask will elevate their performance to a higher state since no one knows what expression u may be having underneath the mask.

however, others believe that the highest state of performing arts is to turn one's face into a mask; to show no expression and be indifferent.

i find it difficult to be able to be indifferent to hurtful comments and remarks, because sometimes it's aimed personally....but i am learning. it's time to box up my emotions and turn my face into a mask