I Can Be Who's Father Figure?

Malaysia. A city that never sleeps, or probably it does, I wouldn't know being the only few awake at this ungodly hour. I came across this profile on Fridae which inspired me to write. I suppose what was interesting in this man's profile was that he wrote, and I quote: " I tend to like guys who are a bit on the nerdy side...It might be partially due to the fact that my father is a lot like that."

This got me thinking, are we attracted to men who have qualities like our fathers? Or maybe we've been smothered by mothers that we no longer have the ability to love any other woman apart from the one who nursed us since young. This reminds me of the Freudian concept of the Oedipal complex where (in summary) we men search for partners that resemble our mothers. But as gay men, are we looking for partners that have our father-like qualities? In other words, have we transitioned from Oedipus to the Electra complex?

Going through the list of men that I'm attracted to or have dated, I can't say that any of them resembled my father. But digging deeper into my personal life, I have to ask myself, am I searching for the father figure that I never had?

Don't get me wrong, my dad is great. He's funny, quirky and rather annoying, but there are no bounds when it comes to discipline from him. This probably had some effect on me; analyzing my past relationships, I preferred guys who had some sort of control over me. Masochistic as it sounds, I think I went for guys who are rather repressive and dominant.

So, is it a question of are we attracted to men who are like our fathers? Or do we want our partner to represent what we picture as a "father figure"?