Bed Banter & Beyond

oh gosh i've been so exhausted from almost everything! i havent been getting enough sleep, a friend scared me and told me something really ridulous happened to him, going out late at nights to accompany a friend who has taken one and a half weeks leave really takes it outta ya. WHEW~ i'm so glad my semester's almost over...just another few more days then final assignments, final exams, final research paper, final wonderment of whether the person who married Drew Barrymore's brother in 50 First Dates is actually a man or a woman, final oral presentation and then voila~ i'm done and holidays here i come.

i'm planning to go away...like far away. i wanna go to...some place asian-y, like Hong Kong (again) or Taiwan (again) or Korea, but as i need to polish up my cantonese, mandarin and korean i dont think i can head there anytime soon.

my lips are still lonely and my bed is still empty apart from all my pillows that i pile up to shape like a person. yes to have a good nite's sleep i have to lie to myself and tell myself there's someone next to me everynite, not like it works anyways. i just end up kicking or punching or elbowing the pillows only to see a roomful of feathers flying all over the place.

so i go online and i write or i start chatting with people who are online at an unGODly hour and complain and rant and yell and talk about my feelings, only to realize that they are awake and were put to sleep or slowly foaming at the corner of their mouths or maybe they're sitting there pondering about the best way to die and probably thinking and cursing "ETHAN LIM I KNEW U WOULD BE THE DEATH OF ME!".

well yes, i cause deaths where ever i go, whomever i touch turns to insanity and starts spasming uncontrolably, when i speak they just turn deaf and blood just starts spurting out of their ears.

i am a guy of many words, and hopefully u dont sue me for trauma, and please stop mailing me ur medical bills or psychologist/psychiatrist fees.
Thank You!

Psycho Therapy

oh please oh please, please please please stop asking me whether i'm in Singapore today or something. i've been getting a ridiculous amount of e-mail asking me, hey are u in Singapore now? i wrote June! JUNE!! it comes before July and right after May. Noooo please dont cause my brain to implode. why dont u people read what i wrote??? it's so sad to know that u would probably read like...20% of what i wrote, and it probably has to do with sentences with words like SEX or FETISH or ANAL or SUCK MY BIG BLACK SCHLONG. fuck my ass and let me ride u like a horse, and make me scream and moan and lets have jack rabbit sex with the pow pow pow pow pow pow pow and the oh yeah oh wow oh yes! suck my cock till i explode and let me cum all over myself or ur face. slap ur face with my hard cock and.......oh.....i think i got a bit carried away there....eeps

the past few days have been quite hectic and i've been trying to re-live my younger years of not sleeping for over 40 hours and still being okay with it. with eyebags the size of garbage bags, i've been walking around like a zombie through the halls of my university trying not to pass out from exhaustion. funny thing is through these days of non-sleeping, i've been meeting up with good people and talking about nonsense which doesnt really make sense to me right now but totally made sense at the time. to think about it i may have made some of the situations up in my head, thinking this because i remember clearly asking my mom to send me to uni coz i aint cut out for driving today and i was waiting in the car reading some of my readings and she came out and asked me what the hell i was doing. she told me i didnt ask her to send me to uni i just waltzed past her and just got into the car.

hahaha ok i'm delirious and i hallucinate. so sue me, i make things fun for people!

oh rite, here's an update for people who read my entry religiously and worship me and have a little shrine dedicated to me in the corner of their room, how freaky is that? we currently found and booked a place to stay; the Gallery Hotel, it's a fantastic place to live in i think coz i viewed the rooms through the website and it looked very clean and simple and fabulous. so sorry guys who have offered me a place to stay but thank you so much for offering. we're basically waiting to book our bus ticket cause of a friend who hasnt gotten back to me on whether she can take leave. so yeah everything's in control rite now, we're just waiting for the day to come.

Lonesome Lips & Laryngitis

it's been a while since my lips have touched another person's. i would consider myself a good kisser, i love the lower lip and i love to softly suck on it for a second or two. teasing my partner's tongue with my tongue and locking my lips with his to make the soft smacking sound. i've kissed enough people to know that i dont like people sucking on my tongue like they are gonna suck it right off.

sigh, i've never kissed someone until my lips feel so raw and i crave for more. actually there was, but it was one of my exes and he wasnt exactly the best. my lips now crave for rawness, i wanna feel the passion, the softness, the teasing of lips and tongues, the texture of perfect luscious lips. argh i crave for it so badly. sigh, it's days like these when i wish i had someone here to be with me.

so yeah i think i'm coming down with laryngitis, which means the losing of the voice for a few days. maybe coz mine is cracking and it's getting softer. the last time i had it was terrible, i sounded like some teenager going thru puberty with his voice cracking and stuff, and i couldnt even speak properly. that was bad so i'm hoping that i wont be speaking much these few days for my classes.

i've not been myself lately and i do apologise to everyone and those people who have sent me mails or spoken to me on msn, my pms stage isnt exactly over but i've been good and not trying to snap at anyone. yeah i'm good like that. heh!

sigh i have to finish off my antibiotics which is a killer coz it's really potent and makes me feel sorta queasy...but i have to finish it according to my doctor so down my throat it goes.

gonna pass out soon from all the medication i'm taking so...i should stop here before i start talking about flying horses and film noirs. laterz

Singing in Singapore Part 3 - Friends

so the 6 days i spent in sg was great despite the taxi incidents in Part 1 and Part 2. i still enjoyed myself and i find that people ask me that whenever i tell them that i'm malaysian. anyways i met really really really great people this time 'round in sg.

i met up with 'drew again. i love him so much, he's like an older brother to me, always accompanying me to legend. he's the best. ronnie was there at legend too the first night. ahh i missed his ultra-cool-and-manly exterior and his voice. did i mention that 'drew and ronnie and pretty much most of the gay people in singapore have excellent voices?

zebastian...what can i say about him? BITCHY! hahaha no he's the best. 30, flirty and thrivin. he was sweet enough to accompany me bar hopping and everything, and i outted him out to his cousin. HAHAHA i didnt mean for it to happen, i didnt know wesley was his cousin which was who 'drew brought to have drinks with us one night. but honestly i had a great time with Z. he's one cool dude.

colin, sweet and nice colin who accompanied me that night of the Pervert Taxibalooza. too bad he had to work on sat otherwise we could have met up more. my saviour in a black subaru. hahaha

sean and jindy, they are so nice. they were so sweet as well. and honestly these two people can sing very well. heck most of sg can sing well. but S&J were really sweet to me and kept me entertained and was my company.

bernard, kelvin, george and alvin. great folks who asked me to join them when i was alone in Xpose coz stupid Z needed to go home coz he had to teach or something like that. stupid Z. anyways these guys were great, they not only embraced a stranger into their group, they were sweet as well. ^_^

gabe & bf, i forgot his name. gabe spent the whole day with me when i had nothin to do. he brought me to borders where i got my books i wanted to read and i spent the days reading at Heren. at least that gave me some company!

a shoutout to all of u guys & gals out there as well, nigel, cynthia, david, edwin, peter, nick, wesley, willie and wayne. if i forgot anyone i'm sorry, i'm exhausted and need some rest. i hoped i could stay in sg longer...maybe i'll go back sooner than i think...just maybe.....

SG Tales from a Gay Boy

been really busy lately, right after my trip to singapore i was thrown into the busy lifestyle of working immediately. so let me retrace my steps of what happened in SG, these are tales from a gay boy

so i was sitting on a bus for 5 hours only to get stopped at customs for bringing in cigarettes. i was lucky the officer let me go with a small fine and i'm not sure whether my name is on the blacklist or not. that was a really bad day since my bus left me at immigration and i had to wait for the next bus to pick me up. so i frantically called my hotel several times to annoy them and tell them that i will need a late check-in. so when i reached my hotel i was pooped, i didnt sleep the night before and i was seriously pooped. the room was decent, although the bathroom could use a little expansion. i took a nap till about 9 and then headed out to oso alone to meet a friend.

upon reaching oso, i realized i'm really early so i sat down and talked to a cute waiter named Justin for a while, ordered a couple of Long Islands (i think i had 3). i was yabbering away and was high when my friend desmond reached. i couldnt remember much of the night after that, the only thing i remember was going to WhyNot to dance the night away.

the second day was better, i woke up with a major headache at 7AM in the morning, took a shower and headed out to sit at heeren and read the entire day. went back to the hotel for a nap and went out for dinner with friends and ended up at oso bar again, trying to flirt with Justin but ended up doing a really bad job at it. went to WhyNot, danced till i fell off the stage on to someone almost killing them, yeah i was kinda high when that happened and i woke up with a big bruise on my foot the next day. i didnt exactly fall of the stage, i jumped and landed on uneven landing and lost my balance. oh right and i managed to burn someone with my cigarette that night as well, it was an accident though and i apologised for it.

i met a guy, he was cute, good personality and had the most amazing eyes i have seen. he was so sweet and i think for that short period of time, i fell in love and i hit rock bottom. i told myself it's just a summer fling, nothing good can come from this, but the heart goes where it wants to go, even though a sea of shattered glass if it wants to. but i must thank him, for at least giving me hope that good guys still do exist and that i can still be loved.

SG Tales from a Gay Boy (Part 2) -Updated-

on sunday i met up with my old friend Andrew and zebastian and had drinks with them at Legend. it was a quiet night, we had the whole place to ourselves and it was scary. the streets were deserted, it was like walking through a ghost town, the only thing i could hear was the buzzing of the neon lights that were hung up at bars. anyways after that Zeb and i left for the new club called Attica, we arrived early and managed to get a spot at the bar since there was an event from Trevvy that involved models, underwear, etc. (yawn). yeah i was bored out of my mind but i did manage to spot at least one cute guy out of the crowd. and he was so cute...and i think he grabbed my bottom cause he was standing next to me. well i left to get some fresh air and ended up sitting outside with zeb chatting.

on monday i woke up early again and spent the whole day at heeren reading, i finished my book and walked to Borders to get a few good books to read. it was there where i met my friend darren and also this other cute guy working behind the information counter. he was unbelievably gorgeous...at least to me.

i can still remember it like it was yesterday, the guy at borders, his skin was like snow, white and smooth, his eyes seem to gaze into my soul for that brief moment, his smile melting my cold exterior away. he was wearing a black short sleeve shirt and 3/4 pants and sport shoes that made his yummy legs look thinner. he made me want to get close to him and softly kiss his neck and do very very naughty and sensual things to him. oh good gracious i seem to have trailed to the beyond. anyways i bought my books, had a drink with darren and then met up with andrew again for yet another drinking session which led me to the path of drunkedness again.

the next day i had to leave, but i had a few hours to spare so i went to borders in hope that i would see him again for even just one second, but he wasnt working that day...so i walked around orchard aimlessly window shopping...yes it wasnt as exciting as my last few trips to sg but i had fun!

Dirty Dancing & Dreaming

i watched Shinobi last nite on dvd, omg it was awesome! scenes were alittle short but u get the feeling of long-windedness along with many many japanese movies but Shinobi was pretty cool. maybe coz it reminded me of the first anime i watched which was called Ninja Scrolls, there was this girl who was fed poison all her life so she wasnt given the choice to have sex with guys or to kiss someone that she loves, without them dying of course. and then there was the feminine looking guy, with this long black hair that never seems to fall out of place and he uses some sort of black threads or hair or something to whip at people, hahah to think about it now, talking or writing about it sounds pretty hilarious but when it boils down to watching it, i guess if u're into flying people who can fight and at the same time fly to the next country and need horses to travel short distances, then this is the movie for u.

all in all i give it a 8/10
coz the movie didnt highlight what was the most important part, which was the Eyes of Destruction, they only showed it once which was pretty pathetic. people died really fast and there wasnt much of a character that me being the viewer could define with. but scenes were beautifully shot and costumes were pretty cool.

oh rite, before i close off i just wanted to record down my dream i had just now. it was kinda weird coz i think we were in bangkok or thailand or somewhere. i'm quite sure it was somewhere in thailand. anyways it was me at first, i couldnt find a table so i sat with a couple of strangers, non-locals as well and they were partying and having fun, oh btw the scene looked like it was in a bar with karaoke in it. so it was dark and i was waiting there apparently for someone, and first Liyana came, i dont know why i dreamt of her, i havent seen her in yonks and i havent spoken to her in ages. yeah she came and was looking for me and i called her name and she saw me and sat down rite next to me. so we were busy chatting and i havent ordered my drink yet and out pops Audrey, and she sits down and starts yapping her head off as usual.

so i'm sitting there, feeling thirsty and looking for a waiter so i asked them both did they get their drinks at the bar or with a waiter? they said at the bar, and there was this guy sitting next to me who said yeah what would u like? i'll go get it for u. so i said no it's alright i'll go get it myself and i looked again to my left to see whether there were any waiters going around and strangely enough there was one short taking people's orders. so i waved at him and he came and the guy sitting next to me stood up and spoke to the waiter and gave him like...i think 20 dollars or some thing. so the waiter came to me and asked what would i like to drink. i told him and i took the money from the waiter and gave it back to the guy and said something like no u shouldnt buy me drinks, i'm sorry but next time alright? he insisted and went over to the bar itself and instead of the waiter bringing me my drink, he bought me a bottle which surprisingly enough...not what i would like to drink...was tequila. so after that i woke up and i felt strange. was i living in someone else's shoes? coz i remember the money that i took out from "my" wallet looked like someone elses...

funny i just cant point my finger at it..