i am officially becoming a monk. i havent had proper sex in a couple of months and it's driving me nuts. what i mean by proper sex is not just pure lust and humping like jack rabbits, it's the connection between two people and the intimacy that's channeled back and forth between them. i need someone to stimulate not only my body, but my mind as well. so right, i'm so horny i could hump a tree. i'm not being self centred here but if i wanted just sex, i could just grab any guy that i know who is attracted to me and just pump it in the boudoir, but i cant use them like that. they want something from me which i am not able to give them: a stable relationship. dont get me wrong, i'm not saying that i cant give them stability, it's just that...i'm carrying alot of excess baggage and it's not fair for me to unload it onto them.
anyways sex lead me to ponder over some things. why do we always label people who have promiscuous sex and enjoy it as sluts or horny bastards? it's in our nature to enjoy sex and come on, let's face it; we're men. we usually think with our penises instead of our heads. we shouldnt be so negative about enjoying the practice of (safe) sex. we can see this in the animal kingdom where they hump every humping season. sometimes i wish i was an animal, all i need to worry about is when my next meal is and who to have sex with.
anyways, i think i went off tangent there. so i'm sitting here, crying silently in desperation, wondering when the next good sex in my life would come. if not, i can always turn to celibacy or start practicing the art of tantra.
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