i'm sitting here with bloodshot eyes and feel like the whole world is literally on my shoulders. i feel like i could sleep forever and just wait for my prince in a t-shirt and jeans who rides a white Proton Gen-2 to come kiss me.
sorry for the blabbering, i'm really tired and i'm supposed to head out in about half an hour so i'm fully dressed, sitting here and wanting to drift off to sleep but i know if i do, i wouldnt be able to wake up until after midnight and i'll get screwed over by my friends.
these past few days have been interesting, meeting new people and getting to know them and everything. that's the thing about me, i tend to lose interest after seeing the way they act. i tend to over observe when it comes to dating and people whom i'm interested in. so what am i looking for? a wise philosopher once said that we search for compatibility, for someone who we want to be and has the characteristics and qualities that we wish we had. but that the thing, if i dont know who or what i want to become, how am i supposed to find a compatible lover? i sit here from time to time pouring my heart and my soul and my thoughts into this database which i dont even know exists when i should be searching for myself.
for those people who are attracted to me, why? why are they attracted to me? is it because they want to become me? is it because i hold characteristics and qualities that they wish they had? but that's the thing, this personality which i have is easy to duplicate, it is not special. if u know me, u can probably spot my doppelganger running around somewhere in KL. i really can not see what people see in me. i really dont understand why when i tell people not to fall in love with me, they do. i'm not blowing smoke up my own ass, it's just true.
i know i cant see the 'special' part of me who can touch people's lives like that or who can attract man, woman, dog and gerbils but i wish i could. i really wish i could see it...
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