Alcoholic Asylum

sitting here with a cup filled with ice and a couple of shots of whiskey and water, i feel...complete. i used to sit in my room or sit outside my lounge area and just watch television and or listen to music while i slowly sip my drink and just think to myself.

i drink to make myself feel better. i take a shot to numb all the pain. i down the cup to feel something apart from sadness. i raise my glass to those who dont need alcohol in their life.

haha. call me pathetic or sad or whatever you want, but that's me. sometimes i just like to spend alone time with myself and just try to blur reality for a minute and enjoy the moment. these are the confessions of an alcoholic.

as i start pondering about how fun it would be to do this and do that, i lift my cup to my parted lips. the liquid, touching my soft lips, was as cold as death due to the amount of ice i put in, but funnily enough when it slides down my throat it warms my whole body into numbness. this numbness is transmitted into my emotions and is sent up to my brain where it blurs my vision and creates a whole new feeling of being...me. my whole body is filled with heat with the alcohol churning into my system like a spinning wheel. i continue to pour the half empty bottle of Chivas into my cup and topped it up with water.
how i love this feeling, the feeling of deadness and lacking of sensations overwhelms me. it makes me tranquil...almost like it was meant to be. dizziness is coming over me soon, i can feel it in myself.

i could almost watch myself drowning in a sea of serenity...