Ambiguity

Ambiguity makes people nurse grievance.

my biological clock seems to be working backwards. i sleep late at nights now and wake up late in the afternoons. i hate this sorta schedule, coz when i wake up late in the afternoon, i feel like i've wasted my whole day and in result i get cranky and grouchy.

so what happened last night? i went to my cousin's wedding dinner with my parents, met alot of relatives there, got to catch up with my two cousins who were pretty cool and i wondered at that moment why we didnt hang out with each other much. i had wine and beer, but i drank beer first coz "Beer before wine makes u fine, wine before beer makes u queer". heh

so yeah i think i had a bit too much to drink last nite, i'm not a really big fan of wine but i managed to drink about 7 or 8 glasses of it before i got light headed and decided to call it quits and stuck to iced water. the wedding dinner was pretty...and a bit tacky, but i shall not go into that coz i aint no wedding planner. but there was the chinese 8 course dinner which was cool, i love the chinese course dinners!

during the wedding, the bride's sister (who was japanese) wanted to sing as a gift to the bride and bridegroom, and as she sang, my cousin and his wife started dancing to the music. i guess it was the music and the fact that they were in love with each other that made me think about my wedding. am i even gonna get married? i certainly hope so! but to a guy who loves me more than he loves anything else.

so there i was, sitting and watching them dance, while dreaming of my own scenario where my partner and i danced to the first song we heard and loved, it's gotta be something romantic like sade's by your side or norah jones' don't know why. and to create that perfect moment, we wouldnt care about anyone else in the banquet hall, we would dance and kiss each other and hold each other and whisper softly, i love you. sigh...my wedding would be a beautiful one, if i ever get the chance.

so after the dinner, i left to LQ to meet up a few of my friends who were there. basically talked nonsense and was in a depressing and nostalgic mood (it was the wine...evil wine) and i was basically bored. i didnt feel like dancing, i felt like sitting down and drinking myself silly and chatting, something which i do ever so often, but my friend dragged me to the dancefloor. it would have been fun if i was high and i was kinda showing signs of boredom, so we moved up to the disco. it was like a steam room up there! sweaty bodies and people raising their arms so u could get a whiff of their armpits? it wasnt exactly fun to be walking through that. so i decided to head to the loo and grab a drink and just stood silently beside the dancefloor just looking at the sea of faceless people dancing like there's no tomorow. most of these people were on X anyways so they had dialated pupils and were high as a kite.

so my vision shifted from all these people into this guy dancing in front of me. i was kinda staring at him and didnt really notice it until he caught me looking a few times and i just pretended not to look. he was kinda cute and too bad he was dancing with a over-the-hill white dude (DONT U HAVE ASIAN PRIDE?!?). so yeah bad for me but good for that jackass. so my friends rejoined me later and we were basically just standing there chit chatting, with the music blasting into our ears, i have no idea how we even managed to get a conversation going. so yeah we left after i got my ass grabbed by some weirdo who was obviously alone. bastard...that was really rude.

so yeah we left to mackers in centrepoint and chatted till about 5AM before i dragged my sorry tired ass back home to get some shut eye. all in all it was a fun night

i miss being with someone