It's fortunate that even after your departure
I still sleep and wake early
I have enough luck
And you are only content after counting the number of tears I've shed
You're good in hiding your true feelings
At least you're nice enough
To not break my heart totally
I have no conscience
Even if I hate you
I can't let go
I don't have the time to miss you
If my speaking skills were really good
I would trade insults with you until you couldn't take it anymore
Are you really not able to endure it any longer?
You'te the best because you still hope that lovers can become friends
I don't have the disposition to hate you
Being your best friend doesn't mean anything
I'm a big boy now
Even if my heart gets broken
I will never give up in my work
Forgive me for being so unforgiving
The present is the least of my worries
Not yet able to take out some time to let you take out your anger on me
Don't pretend to be nice
And force yourself to say that we will be good friends
Even after the breakup
Up to this day
I only have you as an enemy
How am I suppose to live the rest of my life?
I want to play, I won't accept you
Having no one to bother you is your luck
If heaven forces me to never give up
Even after your departure
I don't think I will perish
I retreat
In hopes that everybody will be happy
So that in the end
Things wouldn't be so uncertain
Friday, October 29, 2004
Why bother?
Accompany you in traveling through the slight breeze
Time flows through the pupils of our eyes
Feelings get lost within the sand of our embrace
Who is right?
Who is wrong?
Who is willing to change?
It doesn't mean that we are still in love like before
From the time we first met
I've used my tears to fill the ocean
Should have said this long before I'm leaving
From a slight smile
To crying
To drowning
It's all because of one person
Why bother?
To make it hard on my own body
From being annoyed
To being quiet
To going into a deep sleep
To waking up from a dream
I could be all by myself
Why bother?
No need to care
That slight smile still has leftover warmth
But it might not mean that glance is as attractive as before
Even though memories are forever
The more beautiful
The more cruel
How can I reminisce once again?
From feeling bad
To feeling sweet
No matter what it is
It's all because of one person
From complaining
To hoping
To forgiving
To denial
I could be all by myself
Why bother?
No need to care
Why bother?
Force you to care
Time flows through the pupils of our eyes
Feelings get lost within the sand of our embrace
Who is right?
Who is wrong?
Who is willing to change?
It doesn't mean that we are still in love like before
From the time we first met
I've used my tears to fill the ocean
Should have said this long before I'm leaving
From a slight smile
To crying
To drowning
It's all because of one person
Why bother?
To make it hard on my own body
From being annoyed
To being quiet
To going into a deep sleep
To waking up from a dream
I could be all by myself
Why bother?
No need to care
That slight smile still has leftover warmth
But it might not mean that glance is as attractive as before
Even though memories are forever
The more beautiful
The more cruel
How can I reminisce once again?
From feeling bad
To feeling sweet
No matter what it is
It's all because of one person
From complaining
To hoping
To forgiving
To denial
I could be all by myself
Why bother?
No need to care
Why bother?
Force you to care
Let's Break Up
Were you really surprised?
Were you speechless?
No, you heard right
I said I wanted to break up
Used to be under your spell like an innocent sheep
Why am I able to get back at you all of a sudden?
You know?
Looking back, being with you has never brought me any happiness
We've gone through so much together but why haven't we had love
I suspect that there will not be any happiness if I continue to be with you
I don't have the strength
Lets not linger any longer
Just set me free
All my work has been for nothing
The past years and months have not been spent joyfully
To continue out of habit does us both no good
If we must suffer
Why don't I just break it off now?
Are you unwilling to be the first one to be dumped?
If you were in my place, would you be able to take it?
I've endured the loneliness many times
My heart has had enough
I don't apologize for my frank behavior
Forcing this relationship won't bring us anything
Why don't we just break off everything?
If the suffering is so great
Let's not carry any longer
Please just go
Were you speechless?
No, you heard right
I said I wanted to break up
Used to be under your spell like an innocent sheep
Why am I able to get back at you all of a sudden?
You know?
Looking back, being with you has never brought me any happiness
We've gone through so much together but why haven't we had love
I suspect that there will not be any happiness if I continue to be with you
I don't have the strength
Lets not linger any longer
Just set me free
All my work has been for nothing
The past years and months have not been spent joyfully
To continue out of habit does us both no good
If we must suffer
Why don't I just break it off now?
Are you unwilling to be the first one to be dumped?
If you were in my place, would you be able to take it?
I've endured the loneliness many times
My heart has had enough
I don't apologize for my frank behavior
Forcing this relationship won't bring us anything
Why don't we just break off everything?
If the suffering is so great
Let's not carry any longer
Please just go
Crying
Who understands that I want to have a deep sleep
Who knew that I would be attending this event
Hope that you will accompany me
We'e not suitable, but it will be interesting
When you were happy, I asked you who liked
You replied whether I'm referring to a lover
If that's what you're talking about
I'm too afraid to tire myself
Then I bit my lip to hold back my tears
If I can
Just ask myself
Actually all I want is one kiss from you
And then you admit to me
I am who's second choice?
Even though I know that you are not a good person
But at least I can get one impression
Even though I want to I still haven't asked you
In reality, you have never treated a guy with sincerity
The secret of my love for you, who will want to prove it
Getting this sickness, I have no regrets
Only after switching off the lights, can I think about you freely
Unfortunately, I only have the strength to cry
My honesty towards you cannot make you honest towards me
The person who is loving, alone can still breathe with courage
While I know that you have not yet vanished
I'd rather not disclose this secret until the end of time
Actually I want to be near u
Actually I want to gamble my life
And then I want to...
Who knew that I would be attending this event
Hope that you will accompany me
We'e not suitable, but it will be interesting
When you were happy, I asked you who liked
You replied whether I'm referring to a lover
If that's what you're talking about
I'm too afraid to tire myself
Then I bit my lip to hold back my tears
If I can
Just ask myself
Actually all I want is one kiss from you
And then you admit to me
I am who's second choice?
Even though I know that you are not a good person
But at least I can get one impression
Even though I want to I still haven't asked you
In reality, you have never treated a guy with sincerity
The secret of my love for you, who will want to prove it
Getting this sickness, I have no regrets
Only after switching off the lights, can I think about you freely
Unfortunately, I only have the strength to cry
My honesty towards you cannot make you honest towards me
The person who is loving, alone can still breathe with courage
While I know that you have not yet vanished
I'd rather not disclose this secret until the end of time
Actually I want to be near u
Actually I want to gamble my life
And then I want to...
Thursday, October 28, 2004
Thursday, October 28th, 3.18PM
You, if you have something to say, just say it
Wanting to say something, but not saying it, what kind of a man are you?
And I, my instincts have told me early on
That we are nearing the day for our breakup
Even if my heart is crying, I still have to keep my smile
Who likes to look at a crying face?
Life is always so, with its share of separation
No matter how hard I try, it's still so hard to keep smiling
I cannot open this tearing eye
Because sand has just been blown into it
Who wants to use tears to make you stay?
Having your pity is even worse than separation
I've become used to breakups
We only need one simple word, no need to be bothered again
It's only the sand that has been blown into my eyes
That is making me cry
Even if I don't come, I must still appear refined
And think of him only in my memories
And then I could go out traveling to foreign countries
So I could slowly forget his face
Wanting to say something, but not saying it, what kind of a man are you?
And I, my instincts have told me early on
That we are nearing the day for our breakup
Even if my heart is crying, I still have to keep my smile
Who likes to look at a crying face?
Life is always so, with its share of separation
No matter how hard I try, it's still so hard to keep smiling
I cannot open this tearing eye
Because sand has just been blown into it
Who wants to use tears to make you stay?
Having your pity is even worse than separation
I've become used to breakups
We only need one simple word, no need to be bothered again
It's only the sand that has been blown into my eyes
That is making me cry
Even if I don't come, I must still appear refined
And think of him only in my memories
And then I could go out traveling to foreign countries
So I could slowly forget his face
Sunday, October 24, 2004
Monday, 24th October 2005, 3.57PM
For you, my heart
Ripped from my chest
A pulping mass
Of morbid diathesis
Laced with poison which you injected
Straight into my heart
Coursing through my veins
Morphing my blood into toxic liquid
Am i bitter? i dont think so. this is just me. a dark version of me. a me who is susceptible to a string of bad fairy tale x-es. yes, i'm calling it quits. no more relationships, monogamy doesnt exist in this age and era. romance has officially gotten shot in the head and is bleeding on a small gravel road somewhere up north. i really wish i could go back in time and stop myself from even starting my first relationship in sydney. my relationship life is like a garden variety of shithead bastards who treat me no good, apart from one that i can think of. but i'm going to move on, be narcisstic and tortured like the boy i am now and just date and not get into a serious relationship!
yes that's the new me. i'm not looking for mister right. i'm looking for mister right now. ^_^
Ripped from my chest
A pulping mass
Of morbid diathesis
Laced with poison which you injected
Straight into my heart
Coursing through my veins
Morphing my blood into toxic liquid
Am i bitter? i dont think so. this is just me. a dark version of me. a me who is susceptible to a string of bad fairy tale x-es. yes, i'm calling it quits. no more relationships, monogamy doesnt exist in this age and era. romance has officially gotten shot in the head and is bleeding on a small gravel road somewhere up north. i really wish i could go back in time and stop myself from even starting my first relationship in sydney. my relationship life is like a garden variety of shithead bastards who treat me no good, apart from one that i can think of. but i'm going to move on, be narcisstic and tortured like the boy i am now and just date and not get into a serious relationship!
yes that's the new me. i'm not looking for mister right. i'm looking for mister right now. ^_^
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