Chains

Tis the season of break ups and breakdowns.

A friend of mine whom I've gotten quite close with the past few months got out of a month old relationship and is now dwelling in a hole of contempt and denial.

Another friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend because she was heading to Melbourne to pursue her degree and since she was thrown out of her comfort zone (her relationship of 3 years + her move to Australia) she is now desperately trying to establish a new one.

Meet Wilburt. A down to earth, hilarious and razor sharp guy who's world was turned upside down after crossing paths with a girl who shall be unnamed. Trying to hide his true feelings and avoiding his problems with tears of sorrow in solitude.

And last but not least, Donovan. After finding out his boyfriend has been cheating on him for the past few years is now confused on whether he should continue his relationship.

What do these people have in common? Denial. They choose to believe that not facing their problems would be the easiest solution to their distress. Despite knowing the truth they tend to lie to themselves and what is horrific is that they choose to believe in the lie. Lying is a part of human nature, whether it may be a little white lie to make someone feel better or a blatant one to cover up one's mistakes. But the worst lie of all is when one lies to him/herself and would not accept the truth.

When it comes to breaking up, I believe that it's better to face the truth with your heart on your sleeve and acknowledge the fact: it's over. I do not see stupidity in people, I see people who aren't willing to accept. No one is saying that the truth won't hurt. It would, but isn't that the part of the process of healing?

These people seek for comfort in me, that's what they all say, but instead they just want me to tell them the obvious. Not to sugarcoat things, but to tell them the honest truth. They ask me how should they get over someone. For me it's easy. To find closure is the only way. It could be as simple as an unsent handwritten letter to your once-loved one or it could be as drastic as cutting them out of your life. But closure only brings you that far. Then it's totally up to you to acknowledge it and LET IT GO.

I look back at my relationships and yes, there is no denying that I have been hurt or I have hurt my exes but I do not see it in a pessimistic manner. I choose to re-live the experiences of joy and happiness and even the depressing moments of my relationships and smile. Because that's the only way I know how to deal with these experiences and I believe that this would help me in my process called Life.

I remember laying on the bed in my Ex's room reading and him on my left snoring softly. I kissed him and whispered "I love you" in his ear hoping that he would have me in his dream. My moment of pure intimacy. I look back at this and smile.

I remember being thrown around in Perth and having my ex hit me across the face and dragging me across the carpeted floor and went back to Sydney with bruises and carpet burns all over my elbows. I look back at this and smile.

These are my experiences. If I could go back in time I wouldn't have changed a thing. Why? Because I have acknowledged it and let it go with a big pearly white smile across my face.

I may not be a prime example of someone who is an expert in relationships and breakups but I think I've done a pretty good job considering I'm still sitting here, alive and well.

So, don't take my word for it. Experience it and see if it works for you.