We live in a society where religion plays a big part of our lives; being Buddhist, Taoist, Muslim, Christian - we all separate ourselves into certain religious groups and identities. The thing that ties our identities together is the fact that we all believe in spirits; whether it's angelic or demonic is up to us to decide.
In oriental cultures, we believe in ghosts; spirits that come back from the dead to finish unfinished businesses and haunt the living. I am currently being haunted by several ghosts. Ghosts that seem to disrupt my life and send me in a whirlpool of emotions. Ghosts of my relationships past.
I see them everywhere. The picture we took together in Genting, where we looked like nothing could kill our love for each other, quietly and strategically placed in the corner of my room. The gift he gave me out of the blue, just to cheer me up. The teddy bear he sent to me lying on my bed, its black eyes seem to stare at me with pity. I am haunted everyday of my life, knowing that my relationships failed and could never again be resurrected.
A friend once told me, "You would know when you encounter a ghost; the hairs on your back would stand up and you would get cold shivers. So when you encounter a ghost (pauses and knocks on wood), you just have to acknowledge it and ask it to leave."
I came back home from lectures today to a room filled with negative juju energy. As I walked into my room, I found a pile of papers carefully and neatly placed on my table. The moment I looked at it, I immediately felt discomfort and remembered what my friend told me. It was a phone bill, amounting to quite a figure. As I flipped through the pages, the number with the highest amounts kept on appearing. It was his number.I thought that ending relationships were like encounters with ghosts - you acknowledge its presence and ask it to leave. That was exactly what I did in my previous relationship.
But now I just feel more haunted than ever.
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