My High School Crush (2nd Installment of Growing Up)

It was still Form 4, if i could remember clearly, after the kiss i gave Aaron we had Job Week. Job week was basically finding a job for one week and learning whatever there is to learn and gain some working experience. i found a job at a cybercafe and basically sat there surfing the net for dumb things to put up in my website. it was the 2nd or 3rd day of job week when i recieved a call from Aaron asking me to go out and have dinner with him. i felt kinda weird with him asking me to go out for dinner but i accepted anyways. so i went over to his apartment (we lived near each other) and we had a quiet dinner in one of the restaurants that was open.

after dinner he brought me up to introduce his mother to me and took me into his room. i sat there on the bed and wondered what was going to happen next. my heart was beating fast and i could feel something was about to happen, but nothing did. we just sat there and chatted for a bit, i laid down next to him on his bed and i wanted so badly to caress his chiseled face with my fingers. i wanted to hold him and tell him that i liked him ever since he joined my school. i wanted to kiss his lower lip softly and whisper sweet nothings into his ear. but i didnt, i panicked and told him i needed to go home. i picked myself up from his bed and with a raging hard-on i left his apartment with my bag covering my crotch.

After high school, we all headed separate ways, some people went overseas to study, some people stayed here, i chose to go to Taylors College since some of my friends were going. Aaron went to Sunway instead and we hardly kept in touch due to the buffer between Sunway and Taylors.

then one fine day when i was lazing at home, i recieved a call from Aaron. he told me he didnt have his house keys and was wondering whether he could bum at my place till his mother got back home. i said yes and when i put down the phone i cleaned up my messy room in a rush. he came over and we just sat on my bed chatting while the haunting voice of Foo Fighters played softly on my stereo. i could smell his sweet scent, a mixture of his cologne and his sweat (he was jogging before he came over). i could tell he was tired and asked him to lay down on my bed for a while and take a nap. he laid there and continued to chat with me until he drifted off to sleep. i sat there looking at his face. i felt this yearn to lay down next to him and kiss his forehead, his eyelids, his nose, his cheeks, every part of his face. i wanted to lay my head on his chest and listen to the sound of his heartbeat and his light snoring and put my arms around his body. but being the scared, timid and foolish kid, i got dressed and i left him there on my bed with his head on my favourite pillow (now u know why i have a favourite pillow) and went out for a jog to clear my mind.

i was jogging around my area for a good hour and returned back to my house to grab a drink from my bottled water when i saw him come out with puffy bloodshot eyes. he thanked me for letting him crash at my house and mumbled something under his breath. i told he could come over anytime he wanted and we said goodbye. this was the last i ever saw of him. my high school crush, i can still remember his scent, his mellow voice, his haunting songs (he used to be in a band). how i wish i could see him again...

Growing Up

I didnt grow up gay, at the age of 7 i had a girlfriend during my Prep school days. her name was Min Yong and i thought she was the prettiest girl i've ever seen and i gave her a flower i found somewhere around the swings in my school. she left when i was 8 years old, totally broke my heart until this other girl Jennifer came along. Jennifer was sweet, i picked up another flower and gave it to her. that was when she took my flower and threw it away and claimed that i had cooties. everybody laughed. it was a tough year for me.

so yeah i transfered from Indonesia to Malaysia (dont get me wrong, i'm 100% Malaysian Chinese) and that was when all the politics started. i was new to school and i didnt know anyone and everyone picked on the new guy which was me. it was bad, i missed my prep school so badly. i needed a saviour, i needed a hero in my life, i basically needed someone to hide behind when the school bullies came along. that was the time when i started noticing my high school I.T. teacher. yeah he was cute and never gave me any shit in high school. i secretly had a crush on him until he left halfway through my high school.

i had a girlfriend named Shen Yi for a short period of time during the era of sexual confusion. during recess we would hang out with each other, right after school we would get ice cream and hug each other and when we went home we could call each other and talk about everything. that was when the teasing and the drama all began. not liking the attention that i was getting i slowly detached myself away from her and found other things to pre-occupy my time.

Form 4 came and so did this guy called Aaron Tan. he joined my class and sat next to me. he just transfered from his high school in America back to my high school in Malaysia and had this charisma about him which i fell in love with. we were very good friends until the popular SOBs brainwashed him into doing all sort of nonsense, but we still remained good friends. he went out with my good friend and she broke his heart (this good friend of mine grew up to be a lesbian). throughout the time they went out with each other my heart ached everytime i saw them together. after their breakup, he started going out with other girls and apart from seeing him in class, i didnt get to see much of him around.

Aaron Tan, my high school crush. i still remember the brief kiss we had during one of the dances in our school. he was going out with the grotesque Natalie and they were both sitting there outside the hall with a bunch of people. oh right before i continue on, there was this fashion statement in our school where bisexuality was in and heterosexuality and homosexuality was out, Celebrate the Best of Both Worlds we would say. yeah i cant say i didnt help start that fad in school. SO....anyways, i was going back home and so i said goodbye to him and natalie, so he gestured for me to come to him and i moved in closer and he said goodbye and leaned in. so i thought to myself "what a great time to kiss him", so i did it. and i pretended it wasnt a big deal and i just went off. my cheeks were burning red, i could feel the heat being released from my body. that was the one and only kiss i treasure and cherish and the memory of it will foever be locked away in my heart.

To Be Continued...

P.S. sorry guys i need to head off now but i will continue this tragic life story of mine for ur pleasure of reading it. ask me any questions if u're unclear of what happened. Thanks!