i think i'm starting to develop deep feelings. i've recently been dating this guy whom...i dont know, i can picture myself with him for the next couple of years. i think about him constantly, i sorta calculated the amount of times i thought about him today and it was 12 times. yes i am sad that way...
he's someone who i can get along with, have good conversations about everything and nothing and he's just...good that way. despite me being so stubborn (i never stop smoking...not for anyone, not even my exes) i actually tried not to smoke around him and tried to cut down cause i know he doesnt like it. i also listen to him quite a bit...which is funny cause i dont listen to anyone but myself (i'm self-involved that way as well).
the weirdest thing is that we've only been out together twice but it felt right. i felt like i could be myself around him, like i could open up and tell him whatever's on my mind.
the bad part is that he's a staunch catholic, and it's basically no sex.....AT ALL. i think God is trying to test me and see how much i would sacrifice for, dare i say it, love. i get the fact that there's alot more to life and relationships than sex, but for gay dudes like myself, sex is kinda important. i dont think anyone can feel more closer to each other without the act of sex.
but in any case, i respect him and his principles. i do hope that he could bend it just for me, no pun intended.
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