Light Into Day

so turns out i'm not in love after all. i thought i was but i'm actually not, but if i am then i would be bisexual. let me explain...

if u read a couple of blog entries back, it would have said that i seem to have started developing feelings with a good friend. u see, hanging out with him was fantastic. i have so much fun joking with him and just hugging him and stuff and it stirred up some emotions that i believed to be me "yearning" for him. but today i was sitting across a good friend of mine whom i havent seen in ages and has a few classes with me in uni, and i felt something. i was speaking to K about everything, my relationships boyfriend-wise, my friendships, etc. K was very understanding and taught me alot, basically was just telling me about the experiences that K went through. so anyways, a few hours later i felt like calling K, basically becaused i missed our conversation and that feeling that i felt was exactly the same feeling that i had felt for that good friend of mine.

the only weird thing is K is actually a girl; Kathia, to be exact. so i was sitting in my car just wondering what the hell is this feeling? i'm supposing that it's just probably lonliness and not having that someone who is able to understand u as much as they do. maybe...dare i say it...soul mates?

Kathia told me today that there isnt linearity in life, especially when it comes to relationships. all this crap about "THE ONE" is just pure nonsense, there could be more than one, maybe even 4 or 5. each one compatible in different ways. she 'kudos'ed me for breaking up with marcus because she didnt have the guts to break up with someone who controlled her like a marionette and who she knew was very toxic to her. i feel proud. i achieved something which alot of people, or should i say guys, couldnt achieve. i broke up with marcus. and it feels good to say that, knowing that he manipulates his way into young guys' pants by being "charming" *gag*. i never regreted my experience with him, because i know better now. shall i list my lessons?

lesson 1) never date paedophiles
lesson 2) never date a liar
lesson 3) never go out with someone who thinks he's better than you
lesson 4) never believe someone who says i love you within 1 week
lesson 5) never date a puppet master (i.e. someone who loves to control and dominate, relationship-wise)

so there u go, 5 lessons i've learnt in my most recent relationship. i'm starting to see the light, and it's thanx to a good friend, who's slowly making me believe that i'm worth it.