waking up with a big smile on my face, i realized that it's P's birthday after picking up my phone to check msgs. so i called him and wished him a great birthday and then he told me it's next week. so i decided to get up and have a great day by just being me...
i got to the bathroom and after washing my face, i looked into the mirror. what was looking back at me, i did not recognise. looking back at my high school pictures i dont really think i can recognise myself anymore. i have gotten so old...my eyebags the size of trash bags, blotchy skin and an uneven growth of hair in my goatee. what was standing in the mirror is not me...i just cant fathom how i turned out this way. my hair's atrocious, i got it cut yesterday and it's too short in the front but not much people can tell the difference, but i can. i think it was the haircut that made me think this way cause before i got my haircut i was thinking i look good just walking outside my uni to get my car. funny isnt it? how a couple of inches of hair can just build up or lower self confidence.
so being depressed has been part of my second nature. i am dismissing how weary i look because i honestly dont care what people think of me, plus i have alot more to think and ponder about right now like studies, guys i've been dating, going to the gym and trying not to miss any good classes, etc.
it's time for me to be the good boy.
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